the rebound pope

i know its a little late, but last night Luke and i had a goo four hour conversation on everything from AA to religion to politics to religion to styles of management to politics. we are going to continue our conversations on the way to my familys cabin this evening...(in an alabaman drawl)cause i can't get enough of that there reason and intelligent thought.

when my wife joined us in our discussions we talked a little about the pope and how he is a hardcore MF. she said that he is a rebound pope because probobly no one, even someone who would be a good pope, could follow Pope John Paul as he was so revered...and i suppose still is. she related her thought with a little story when a professor or teacher is somewhere for any great amount of time and makes a good name for themselves, it is almost always hard to follow that teacher. so what do you do? you put in a rebound teacher that the kids can all direct their hate towards, and when that person is removed then you can put in someone who can begin to build on nothing. (i have a direct correlation for anyone who attended the UND music dept after Dr. Rodde left. Mcmane (splinter) took the brunt of hate. after she left i wasn't in the dept but i heard that even the next guy didn't make it either...but that may have been based on how poor of a teacher he was...mike?)

anyhow, pope benedict XVI is a rebound pope. thats why he is so old, so that he can die and catholics won't have to live under his crazy ass ultra conservative dictates for any significant amount of time. however...this is where God brings back people living 300+ years. so take that catholics and organized religion.

10 days with a packing party on monday at 6:00 PM (free pizza and soda)

to move or not to move

well, getting closer to the day i move. losing more sleep every night worrying about what won't fit into the trailer...hopefully everything that i want (my Mac G5, my guitar, my bed, my tv, lord of the rings (cast, crew, special features...in DVD format) and my books.) if not i will probably drive with so much rage that...naw, those things will fit...so hopefully i can fit in everything my wife wants!!! this will make my existance and our relationship just a little more lubricated. in the next few days i will be recieving some much craved software a 15 GB program of orchestral samples, and Reason 3. so hopefully that will fit in the trailer as well, so that when i arrive in Portland, OR i will have something to do besides finding a place to live, and working.

Recently Herr Vogler, Mike, and i (is this one too much?) have been having discussions on music and life (our lives with music.) i have just recieved a couple questions from Herr Vogler in response to similar questions i asked him.

"1) who's your favorite film composer and 2) what have you written so far?"

My favorite film composer right this second is Howard Shore thanks in no small part to his LOTR composition (which inspired me to go back to music...more on that to follow.) i also love John Williams, John Powell, Thomas Newman. and for bonus, i absolutely detest Randy Newman (i think i spelled his name wrong...i don't want to wast time fact checking on him.)

and so far i have written a 30 page piece for string quartet. i have written nothing for film as of yet. i also have written quite a few pop tunes.

when i quit the music program in 2001...i QUIT music. i have always been very selfish with my time...so when i was going to school for music as a freshman and sophomore you might imagine how much time i spent actually studying the material. i was a very poor student then. because of my composition professor i became quite jaded and despondent. i threw myself into my next major (Urban planning and human geography...which i still love.) i didn't even leave time for myself to make music my hobby. after a few years i began to realize the mistake i made by not staying in music. i was also way to chicken shit to commit myself to going back (for fear of disappointing my father to whom i had committed to in taking over the family business...railroad contracting.)

there were certain things that i couldn't do because it would cause my insides to begin the battle. i couldn't go to musicals or see choirs perform, and there were even movies that i wouldn't watch because i would become depressed and regretful of the decision that i had made. i couldn't watch LOTR because i knew that the music was inspirational to me. (listen and watch the scene in fellowship where Gandalf falls from the bridge of Khazad Dum, you may identify with me...it's beautiful!)

i really owe more than i know to my wife (not only for all of the "normal" things) because if not for her and her insatiable lust for not living in North Dakota i probably never would have thought to leave my job and pursue other means of living. thusly have i decided to go back to school. also, it was a friend of mine (Luke) who brought to the light the fact that you can write music anywhere...so if there was a place you wanted to live you could...and still write music.

so anyway, the reason my composition portfolio is not bursting at the seams may be attributed to my hard (or thick) headedness. i wouldn't touch anything music or music related. now however when i reattend school for music 100% of my time will be spent with music whether for study, or for filling my free time. if i can find a contact to make achievements of composing for film i will, if not i wouldalso like being a professor of music. (so if Media Ventures II makes it, Herr Vogler, i would definately be willing to be your bitch (2nd to my wife's bitch.))

much love my peeps!

11 Days.

nerves

yeah...so as the date when i move draws nigher (i know its not a word, but its fun to say) i get a little more nervous about everything fitting in the pickup and trailer. so if anyone wants to buy a drum set...

i am seriously getting really stoked to move though. i should concentrate on my work, but i can't help romanticizing my near future. a couple days of driving, get set up in my aunts house, do some work, look for a place to buy and live, buy a place, get set up...go hiking...make music...work...make music.

i have been finding really good deals on software to create my own home composition studio. a nice orchestral sample package...because i like the sounds.

i can't think of anything else to say really...except that i like the fact that i am retaining my railroad job from a remote location (wage, vehicle, benefits.) hopefully i will be able to find a dopeshow property that we can afford.

13 days.

the day the music...died

it was a snowy day, hevily overcast and not a ray of sunshine (hope) in sight. the year was 2001 and my music composition professor was very upset with myself and three of my classmates (the class was 4 people large.) we were obviously getting the assignment wrong, when he said write a piece for piano at least 30 minutes long, of course he meant a piece using only three notes (the 1, 3, and 7.) we got it wrong big time. the rest of the class that day was spent arguing the value of tonal vs. tone rows.

needless to say i took it really well and changed majors (for many reasons, but the professors beliefs not helping.) ever since leaving the music dept. and world i have regretted it. thus, i have decided to go back to school for music with the complete understanding that a professors teachings and a whole era of music are to be soaked in and not ignored or fought against.

i posted a response to herr vogler's Jerry Goldsmith post which reads, "why won't academic types lighten up on atonal? what am i missing about it that makes me NOT appreciate it? to me its more mathematics than music. also, i know i have a LOT to learn (including Schoenberg)...but help me connect the dots."

to which he responded with,"To me the biggest problem is that too many people emphasize the compositional means rather than the end. in the end the music is the only thing that matters. I very much consider myself an academic and there is much to be learned from the music of Schoenberg, Berg and Webern. But it has to appreciated first or else you'll never be able to learn from it. Also, as a composer, it's something that you absolutely should learn how to do regardless of whether you ever use it. To this end the greatest asset of any film composer is their ability to be flexible and speak as many musical languages as possible. Atonal music isn't about mathematics. Or at least it shouldn't be."

Very eloquent. in my time away from music school i have come to realize through other professors and music students that even though there may be something i do not like, understanding how and knowing what it means will only help me and my abilities to improve.

if you love something as much as i do, don't change because there is something there you don't like. grin and bear it.

primal rage (the feeling, not the game)

why do i get crazy when i'm driving and someone cuts me off or worse...drives slower than the speed limit. i know i should be more relaxed and not in such a hurry. i also know that it is illegal to run people off the road or anything else associated with that...but dammit, i want to so bad.

i get irked when semi truck drivers don't look in their mirrors and just pull out to pass when you are in fact passing them. you know those anti road rage bill boards up all over..."smile", or "be greatful", well when my uncle and i were driving by one of those signs a while ago and he wasn't in a good mood "fuck you" is all i heard before succumbing to a bout of laughter. i wonder if those billboards are working for the public. i don't think they are working in L.A. county. my friend Ian reports that they have had a pretty good string of highway shootings to which i say, "fuck that". i think i can calm down enough to not get shot. "smile"...probobly not, "be greatful", every day of my life!

17 days.

update: tempting fate

so far everything is still good. i think this time to keep it good i am not going to divulge the information about the pet cemetery. the person who buying my house is a friend of my dads. he has begun moving stuff into the garage already (which is good...a little solidification.)

i have also received approval from my aunt, who lives in Portland, to live in one of her three bedrooms. this will give me an opportunity to save my money for a down-payment on a property out there.

one thing though, my wife and i won't be moving out there at the same time. i will be leaving on the morning of the 9th of August, at which time she will be driving to "spamtown" Austin, MN to hang out with her parents and visiting sister until Sep. 1st. it would have been fun to share this experience with her, but now we won't have to stop every 200 miles for a bathroom break. i don't plan on stopping for any bathroom breaks. if i can't wait until i get gas, a bottle will have to do.

Sports Night is a great show (thanks Luke.)

my friend Ian is participating in an interview to work as a pilot for a Las Vegas airline today. i asked him if he was going to stop off at the mustang ranch and he said that he wasn't because there was a prosti in the lobby of the casino/hotel he was at. after his interview he will be flying to Maryland to train at another airline (piedmont). to think, my friend Ian is going to be a pilot for a "major" airline...they grow up so fast. what happened to you Ian? you used to be not so responsible and spirited. what caused the change from juvenile delinquent to student body president and beyond?

Mike...i am ready for a second draft!

tempting fate, the return of:

lets see if i can do this again.

we sold our house.

okay, now to wait for the call that says the deal fell through. i found a friend through my dad to buy it...and i am getting out of my realty contract so that i can save a chunk of change.
the current plan is to move to portland and live in my aunts townhouse with her and my uncle, or live in my other uncles apt. above his garage. basically to look for a place and get to know the area a little better than if we had just taken a two day trip out there.
i don't know what i will do for work though. my plan is to live there for a year to gain residency then go to portland state to learn things that i only half know now, and to play the piano well (and not only by ear.) in that year i will either get a job there doing lord knows what for probobly not much more than minimum wage, or, i'll maintain a job with the railroad company i work for now to help them expand an office to the PNW. (the latter is my preference (because i would get to keep using their vehicle, and a steady (lesser than now)income.)) too many parenthasis.

more than anything i can think in a close tie to hiking and living in the PNW i am more excited to park my butt on our couch in the PNW to watch the complete LOTR. a blissful 12-13 hours of...well...bliss. a truly bedsore creating event!

an all time low

my grandparents have two german shepherds. a two year old (skyye), and a seven year old (danny boy.) both dogs are Iowa search and rescue dogs, danny being certified, while skyye has a couple years of training left. danny is the biggest dog in the club, and most likely the biggest german shepard in Iowa. they get called out at least once every two weeks to help assist in tracking criminals, missing people, or victims.

the sheriff in their counties only has to threaten a criminal that is hiding to "get danny". danny has quite a reputation in the papers and does at least one parade a month. my grandpa says that danny doesn't like water and won't go near it given the choice. but every once in a while they will be called out to locate a drowning victim.

when they were in a boat recently looking for a drowning victim making their courses over the lake, danny, at one point nearly jumped out of the boat. when they searched that area in the water, they did find the person that had drowned two days earlier. danny also has an uncanny sense of humanity. as an example after they were done searching for this person and were back on shore danny approached a man standing on the beach and sat down next to him putting his head under the man's hand. coincidentally the man happened to be the father of the boy that had drowned. this isn't the first time that danny has "offered his condolences."

danny and my grandpa are quite a pair!

most recently they went searching for a missing girl from a farmstead. they started by the door and danny followed her scent to the road and stopped. they made him keep searching around the farm and surrounding fields with never a hit like the first one. a few days later my grandpa was with us celebrating the 4th of july. when he was explaining the story to us he looked up and said, "you know, i think she was abducted." when he returned home from the fourth the police found the little girl's body in a mess of blood ditch far away from her home.

why do little people entice people to do what they do? what punishment could equal what theses sick people do to these kids? it seems like recently there have been a multitude of similar cases to this one. what is going on in our society that this is a problem? i understand that the country is smaller because of the media, but it just seems like this is getting crazy.

whenever our family is together and the dogs are there, my grandpa has us hide and the dogs will search for us. he says that it improves the morale and attitude of the dogs to find live people.

now that you know this you will be surprised to learn that one of P.E.T.A.'s goals is that no animal is a pet. they want all animals to be wild even going so far as to hurt other people to release or protect animals. i understand that animals shouldn't be used to test things on, but in a way it is to preserve the humans...damn dirty humans. but do animals have feelings? YES...that is why i prefaced this with my grandpa's dogs. don't test or maliciously hurt animals.

to sum up...i don't like people that hurt others, especially little children. nor do i like people that hurt other people for animals. i do like dogs though...moreso, i love the ones that help us.

the body man

everyone is talking, and posting, and blogging about karl rove...so what's one more.
i heard rush limbaugh talking about the judicial nominations and about how Bush is going to make a decision based upon how he wants his legacy to play out.
i think i know a legacy that his administration has already established. adding another peg to that board is the rove debacle. no i think this is pretty much a disaster. wait...catastrophe.

we are so lucky to have our government, and our way of life. what we are not fortunate to have is people being able to put other people in danger. Knowingly or not, rove knew about her. whether or not he knowingly exposed her, he knew. that's where we messed up. when someone like rove is able to be so close to such a high post as the President, and have so much say as an advisor...that's where we messed up. unfortunately the person that appoints those people are no better. so are we any better? thank God for 4 year, and 2 term limits!!!

Here's one way to begin changing the legacy that already exists...fire rove. keep your own words. don't hide behind a situation you created to wait until the manipulated outcome arrives. show your people you CAN do the right thing.

Where does the country go from here? Barack Obama in 2008.

finally

after what seems like almost an eternity, the NHL has reached a deal. apparantly they will ratify the deal next week to go forward with a six year player's contract, salary caps and all. with a scaled back draft next month, training to begin in september, and games to begin in october, life can finally return to normal.

Shit...i don't have cable anymore.

Apparantly a few week's ago Jeremy Roenick made some "anti-fan" comments that were taken out of context. Fans were blaming the players for being too spoiled and selfish to actually make any deal the NHL offered be good enough. Although i agree that getting paid a lot of money can sometimes make me wonder if greed isn't a large part of the game...but hey, if people are willing to pay for the tickets to go to the games then who is to blame? i would agree that college hockey is all heart (they aren't getting paid aside from the scholarships), but unfortunately there isn't a hockey game on at almost any given night of the week.

i will tell you one thing, American fans barely compare to Canadian fans as far as the sport of hockey goes. i was privelleged enough to attend the 2005 world juniors and there were times when i felt embarassed. American fans seemed very lackadaisical. it was easy to lead cheers but hard to sustain them when no one would join your chorus. Thank goodness for our egos USA didn't make it to the championship game where Canada had. we would have been cheered right out of the arena.

anyways, at least we can rest easy again and stay up until nearly midnight to watch those great espn double headers. except for me who can only read the results. it's okay though...i will be busy scoring for mike's weekly public access show in Seattle (time to come up with a weekly show mike!).

trying not to bend over too much

in an effort to keep paying our mortgage and to prevent our wallets from being raped by the cable company, my wife and i no longer have cable television. Good riddance...except for you seinfeld, csi, west wing, history channel, family guy, and the final days of le tour de france.
i don't mind not having cable because we have enough movies and books to last us quite a while...plus, we have the added saving of around 30 dollars a month. i am also trying to sell one of our tv's (in exchange for some music software...maybe reason 3.0 or something else that will tide me over.)
i wonder if i could get rid of cable internet. i don't think i could because anti-dialup is a pillar of my platform...oh yeah, and my wife needs it to look for jobs and stuff. i am also not a strong advocate for single income homes. but whatever it will happen someday (around the same time i re-enter the "student lifestyle."
has anyone read Bruce Campbell's new book "Make Love the Bruce Campbell way"? i want to read it, but it isn't worth 25 dollars to me. you know what is though...food.

i wonder what life would be like with two incomes...according to my wife, it would only mean more saving.
thankfully my employer provides me with a vehicle and fuel...and healthcare, and a good salary, and...why am i going back to school?
oh yeah...so i can be happy.
is it possible to be happy poor? i don't know. i hope so. i wanna grow up to be a poor doctor (prof. of music comp) unless film friends let me parasite my way to a good living (preferable to me.)

conceding defeat

i will now take this opportunity to tally the votes made in response to my post "freebeard" in which the fate of my beard hung in the balance.
What is interesting to me is that only two people actually said no, but they didn't vote that way.


Votes:

Yea---3
Nay---0
People who had my wife's back and thusly voted Nay---8

Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedules.
so now according to the dictates set forth by P. Diddy, you are now all immortal for having voted. Congratulations.

shooting the moon and other non-living things

i am at my families cabin now. i don't like dial-up internet (sorry mike).
i can make do, but only because i am a good "maker-doer." i am getting really frustrated on the inside that my house isn't selling, but at least...nothing. there is no bright side to this. oh yeah, more time living in close proximity to my family.
i am excited to sell it though because when i do, i will have some "throw around money" that i will use to buy some music software. I am kind of limited right now in my writing and held back by only being able to use garage band and its provided samples. how am i to write for a solo violin when the only provided sound is all string chairs?
i picked up an "Electronic Musician" magazine that said affordable set-ups. upon purchasing mike and i noticed that the "affordable" set-ups begin at around five thousand dollars...dammit. so maybe i will just get Logic Pro 7 and some other stuff after i do more research.
will these things ever pay for themselves? does it matter? i think not. it doesn't matter as long as i am having fun living off my wife! eh.
i wonder if my new town will have sperm clinics. this way i can get money for good feelings to support my dirty music habits. i feel no reservations about that as long as the kids come looking for me. that might be weird inspiration.
Geese suck. they like rocks though. so, i think i will give them some (from a distance.)

props for my town

Al Franken knows about my town...

"WHAT ENVIRONMENTAL LAWS HURTING THE ECONOMY? With the President pledging to never enact a Kyoto-type environmental law because it would hypothetically wreck the economy, one need not look further than Portland, Oregon to find a real-life example where reducing greenhouse emissions bettered business." -- taken from www.ofrankenfactor.com.

Also, good planning and good use of resources will lead to a good environment.
Come to Portland, OR and breathe easy. Much love my peeps.

i.d. thievery

is not cool. i got an email from "paypal" stating that a new authorized email was added to my account. without thinking, i clicked on the link provided in that same email to correct the situation. to veryify that i was the correct user they had questions about my credit card. wow, to think how irrational i was...that was crazy. i went back to the email and clicked the link again to see what email address came up...and it didn't even say paypal in it. if i had taken two seconds and calmed down my brain...
i have cancelled the card in question and also changed my password to two accounts i have.
i just pray that i was quick enough on the draw, and that "my ship will no be scuttled."

please friends...DON'T GET SCAMMED!!!

so Ruth, when you try to use our visa debit card...it won't work. sorry.

the first step towards...

Can i believe that God created evolution and intelligent design? is that allowed? why can't both exist. why do we care? is studying either theory going to preserve us in any way?why can't these things coexist?

i don't know.

what i do know is that one day we won't be here (unless the gene scientists are allowed to do their jobs well).

it's like the age-old question, destiny or free-will? i think that if destiny exists then there would be no hell (based on God existing). the reason for this being that God would not want us to go to hell, so why would he destin anyone to go there? i do not believe these two choices could coexist.

also, since you have the choice, why would you choose not to believe in God? does believeing in God hurt you or hold you back in any way? i suppose it could hold you back if you were living you life trying to not do the right thing (except of course for those people who think the right thing is to "kill" others...thus the paradox.) does your brain hurt? sorry.

i am waiting for the other shoe to drop...my dad or my friend bruce (staunch conservatives (money will do that)) to read my blog and fire me, or punch me. oh well, life continues at our own risk.

itchy trigger finger

thank you, Anne, for the correction. you are right...Al Franken is "contemplating" a run against Norm Coleman for a seat on the U.S. Senate in 2008.
shows you how excited i am that he will be considering this. i also heard him make reference to himself running in the 2008 elections on "The Al Franken Show" on Air America.

coca-cola zero (worth it)

what a great weekend. relaxing. it didn't even feel to me really as if things in my life were actually happening. my mind wasn't going crazy...so the committee (in my head) must have gone on vacation as well. the water was nice, and i had a great time wasting our planet's natural resources with our boat.
watched Die Hard (the first one) and noticed the never ending theme of Ode To Joy. it was hard to watch because it was on TNT; thus it was edited. also this weekend i watched part of Saving Private Ryan on TNT and it was not edited. i couldn't believe my ears when they said fuck. it makes me wonder if they are going to get a fine from the FCC. don't get me wrong, i would prefer that the movies not be edited, but it is just kind of shocking to hear it when i grew up with a different idea in my head.
i read a report about the FBI cracking down and making more arrests of copywrite "pirates" and i wondered if they had been doing so well on the terrorism end of the spectrum that they had time to go after the real threat...pirates.
i myself being a pirate and also not liking Osama Bin Laden would prefer them to go in the other direction.
Al Franken is great and i wish he were running for governor of Washington instead of Minnesota in 2008 so i could vote for him. for all of you living in Minnesota in 2008 with good memories...vote for Al Franken.